The Ribbon

Text 1: One Clean Cut, by Jonah Trevelyan

An original short story extract.

Councillor Vale had practised his opening smile in the dark window of the community hall. Now, standing at the entrance to the new garden, he displayed it to the waiting crowd.

‘There is nothing to worry about,’ he whispered to his assistant. ‘A ribbon is simply a line waiting to become two.’

The ceremonial scissors were gold-painted and enormous, with handles as wide as dinner plates. Councillor Vale raised them for the photographer. Sunlight flashed along the blunt blades. He placed the red ribbon between them and said, ‘Observe.’

He squeezed. The ribbon stretched. The scissors clicked. Nothing happened.

Still smiling, Councillor Vale tried again. He changed hands. He adjusted the ribbon. He opened the scissors as far as his arms would reach and charged at it with a noise usually heard from weightlifters. The ribbon acquired a small dent. A child at the front began counting the attempts aloud. By ‘four’, the crowd had joined in.

His assistant held out a pair of sewing scissors. Councillor Vale ignored her. His smile had become a piece of furniture: large, fixed and increasingly difficult to move.

‘Five!’ called the crowd.

Councillor Vale snatched the little scissors. Snip. The ribbon fell apart at once, and applause burst out with the speed of people escaping a room. He lifted the useless golden scissors above his head.

‘A ceremonial delay,’ he declared.

How does Jonah Trevelyan use language and structure to make the opening ceremony amusing?

You should use relevant subject terminology to support your answer.