The sentence we took off the brochure

Text: an original contemporary editorial-account-style practice extract.

Our town’s walking-tour brochure began with a sentence promising that every corner would amaze the visitor. We liked its energy until we tested the route. One corner contained a useful public toilet; another offered a view of the rear of a supermarket. We could invent enthusiastic descriptions, but the visitor would still have to turn those corners.

We replaced the sentence with a promise to explain how the streets had changed. This allowed an ordinary service entrance to matter without becoming wonderful. A guide could describe why deliveries used that lane and how the shopfront had moved. The new opening sounded less dazzling. It gave the rest of the brochure something clearer to fulfil.

The tour still included an impressive old hall and a view worth stopping for. We had not removed delight from the route. We had stopped ordering it at every corner. I would rather offer a visitor a reliable reason to look than a mood they must produce to prove that the brochure was right.

In this extract, the writer tries to persuade readers that a restrained promise can be more useful than exaggerated praise.

Evaluate how successfully this is achieved. Support your views with detailed reference to the extract.