Putting an apology on paper

Source A: A pause before saying sorry — an original school discussion paper

Our school is considering asking pupils to write a short reflection before apologising after a disagreement. Too often, somebody says sorry because an adult is waiting for the word, then leaves without explaining what they have understood. A written stage could make the apology less automatic. It would not replace any immediate action needed to stop a disagreement or support somebody who had been upset.

Writing creates a pause. A pupil can describe what happened, distinguish an intention from an effect and decide what might be done differently. The finished page need not be long. It might contain only a few sentences which give the later conversation something useful to begin with. We should not judge its value by the number of lines completed or how impressive the handwriting looks.

It could also help the adult supporting the conversation. Two pupils may remember the same exchange differently. Separate reflections could reveal where their accounts agree and where something needs clarifying. This is not a way to prove that the neatest account must be correct. It is an opportunity to hear more than the first explanation supplied in a hurried corridor conversation.

Some pupils will find the task difficult. Staff would need to explain its purpose and offer suitable ways to record ideas. The proposal should not become a punishment consisting of copying the same sentence repeatedly. Nor should every private reflection automatically be read to the whole group. We want a habit of considering responsibility, with support where necessary. A brief written preparation could help an apology become the start of repairing a relationship rather than merely the word which allows everybody to return to the timetable. The later conversation would still need time and an adult able to listen.

Source B: A page cannot apologise for me — an original pupil commentary

I once wrote an apology which sounded far more thoughtful than I felt. I knew the sort of sentence an adult would recognise as evidence that the conversation could end. Completing it taught me how to produce a convincing page, but not how to listen to the person I had upset. That is why I am uncertain about making writing the normal entrance to an apology.

The proposal describes useful questions. What happened? What did the other person experience? What could change? Those questions can also be explored aloud, through notes made with an adult or after a quiet interval. Some people organise their thoughts while speaking. Others may understand their responsibility but struggle to fit the expected explanation into a written form. We should not confuse the form of an answer with the work of considering it.

The person receiving the apology matters too. They may not want a carefully prepared speech immediately, and they should not be required to announce forgiveness because somebody has completed the school's process. Repair can include returning an item, correcting a claim or changing an ordinary behaviour. A page saying that things will improve is easier to finish than the improvement itself.

I would support offering reflection as one route, with clear questions and a chance to choose how to respond. Keep enough privacy for someone to be honest, explain who will see any record and allow the later conversation to test what the words mean. Please leave room for an apology which is awkward but sincere. The most polished sentence in the room should not automatically become the one everybody is expected to believe.

The school council is discussing written reflection before apologies after disagreements. Write a speech giving your views and recommendations.

Use your own words and base your response on both sources. In your response:

• evaluate the purposes and limitations of the proposed written stage
• recommend how the school could support meaningful apologies and repair

Write about 250 to 350 words. Up to 10 marks are available for reading and up to 25 marks for writing.