Inside the bee suit

Text: an original contemporary personal-account-style practice extract.

From beyond the fence, the hive appeared to be a wooden box arguing with the air. Bees crossed and recrossed its entrance, scribbling over one another’s routes. I checked the zip beneath my chin for the third time. The suit was supposed to protect me, but its stiffness made every movement feel like evidence that I did not belong inside it.

The beekeeper approached without the cautious shuffle I had adopted. She lifted the roof, waited for the first rush of wings to settle and drew out a frame. “Do not try to watch every bee,” she said. I had been treating the cloud above the box as one restless creature. On the frame, separate bodies moved through repeated tasks: entering cells, meeting, turning and making room. What had looked like confusion from the path began to show its pattern.

I did not become fearless beside the hive. When a bee struck the mesh near my cheek, I stepped back so quickly that the beekeeper smiled. Yet I returned to the frame. By the time the roof was lowered, the air was still crowded and loud, but fear no longer occupied the whole scene. There were bees in it now.

Analyse how the writer uses language and structure to interest and engage the reader.

In your answer, consider:

• language features and techniques
• structural techniques
• the effect on the reader.

Support your views with detailed reference to the extract.