Opening the rooftop hive

Text: an original contemporary observational-feature-style practice extract.

On the roof, the traffic below us muttered without pause. The wooden hive looked too plain to contain anything urgent: a square box beside three pots of herbs. Then the keeper lifted the lid. A dark seam opened, the air thickened with wings, and I took one careful step backwards.

The keeper remained still. She raised a frame and held it where the morning light could reach it. At first, the bees seemed to cover every space at once, but gradually the movement separated into paths. One bee pushed between two others with bright orange parcels fixed to its legs. Another disappeared into a cell. What had looked like a single restless surface became hundreds of particular journeys.

When the frame was returned and the lid replaced, the roof appeared ordinary again. The traffic continued below, crossing, stopping and setting off in streams. I could still hear the bees inside the box, no quieter than before, but the sound no longer seemed shapeless. The hive had not changed. My attention had.

Analyse how the writer uses language and structure to interest and engage the reader.

In your answer, consider:

• language features and techniques
• structural techniques
• the effect on the reader.

Support your views with detailed reference to the extract.