The first hive check

For months I had watched the experienced keepers move among the orchard hives with unhurried calm, and I longed to work as they did. Before my first inspection, I repeated the instructions until they became a jumble, and imagined my grip slipping as I lifted a frame. At the hives, the thick gloves made simple movements clumsy. When the supervisor stepped back and said I should open the box, I wanted to ask her to do it instead. However, after the lid moved, the bees continued their steady activity. Watching them closely pushed my rehearsed fears aside; I became absorbed in keeping each movement slow.

In your own words, explain the writer's thoughts and feelings before and at the start of inspecting the hive.